Episode Eight List: Offerings

List of Things I was Thinking while Watching the Last Episode

1. What the heck Menelaus? What is your face saying here? When Xanthuis says, "Your wife wants to come home", are you relieved? Skeptical? Thrilled and happy but trying to look cool in front of the lads? I thought I saw a tear forming, but that could be me projecting.





And then you and Helen have a face-to-face, with blood dripping off your sword and three dead guys laying at your feet. First private conversation in 10 years:







This isn't the face of a raging man full of hate and revenge.
















You are convincing me that this war was about love. Sure, maybe a bit of an obsessive, possessive, love, but still. I see great affection on display here.


And I think to myself, with some good marital counseling and some supportive friends to encourage them, these kids just might make it after all.

AND THEN. As your big brother and the army storm the gates, with everyone watching, you go all macho and lose your shit:









AND THEN?

You make her watch your show down with her other husband. COME ON MAN. If you want a happily ever after with her, THIS is likely not the way to begin your second go at being her hubs.












And your timing?

Is questionable.

AFTER your brother makes some insulting remarks to her, and after she's watched you gut her true love, THEN you tell her you forgive her?





I guess, maybe I understand.

You've just done some very manly, Kingly things.

You're feeling good about yourself.

Your manhood has been restored.

You've got your confidence back.


And she's the prize.

And now that ten years of frustration has been released in a fury of swinging swords and jabby daggers, you're done. Mission accomplished. Ready to go home. Start fresh.









This scene made me think again, that you did this for love. Because when she said you could have her body but not her heart:





I think you want her heart too.


You've got your work cut out for you, pal.

She's strong, that one; she's not givin you an inch. No way is she accepting your hand to help her get on that boat.















2. NO. This was not how I wanted their story to end. NO, No, noooooo.

Arrrrgh. There has to be more. This feels like a cliff-hanger at the end of a first act.

This is just too tragic.

Look at their faces. SO much pain.

Utter hopelessness. Will either of them ever feel joy again?


(Coincidentally, the organization I work for is in the midst of launching an intensive, proven, effective, counselling-heavy retreat option for couples whose marriages are in extreme crisis. As I'm preparing the promotional materials for this initiative, I can't help but think that Mene and Helen would be the perfect candidates for this program. And with a 84% success rate, they MAY come out the other end with some tools with which to repair the damage.)


So, time travel is what I'm suggesting, I suppose. Season Two has them stepping through the stones to the 21st century, seeking counselling.


Or something.

It really can't end like this.

3. Priam.









What? Are my expectations too unrealistic regarding royal behaviour? He just seems so weak. Have we witnessed him making a wise decision even ONCE during his rule? He seems to reject advice at every turn. I'm not saying Troy deserved to burn. But come on, dude. Common sense. Your son has taken THE QUEEN OF SPARTA. There WILL be repercussions. You disobeyed the gods at Paris's birth. They warned you there would be consequences.


No respect for this man. None.

And while I think a sword through the gut is probs an non-King-ly way to die - it looked like he invited the pointy thing to enter by leaving it wide open and exposed like that in his final battle. I gasped when he raised his sword high, having just watched three one-on-one duels in previous episodes, so even *I, a 21st century office-worker with no combat experience, could tell he didn't have a snowball's hope.

Kings. Some are better than others. Just like Presidents.


4. Odysseus

My heart? RIPPED OUT.
OH Odysseus, will you recover from the things you had to do in this war?



From -

Odysseus: My lady; come with me.



To:





Andromache: May your crimes haunt you like ghosts. May Troy be the curse that follows you all of your life.






Yup.
Take the long way home, mate.
You've got some healing to do.



5. The HORSE!

Being a former craft store owner I delighted in the construction of this prop!

I can imagine Trojan Horse craft projects involving papier mache' and doodads and tassels and sparkly bits. Maybe a pinata design? Filled with oasts instead of candy? Or an Object du Art for the back garden, made functional by having water sprinkle and spray out of the head spokes?

And the cinematography when it was first spotted was magnificent.











I'm not much of a selfie person, but if I'd been an actor on this project, I totally would've taken a few (million) pics of me and that glorious horse. My Instagram posts would've been awesome x 1000.

6. Keep your eyes on these guys; all fabulous actors:

Chris Fisher:




Lemogang Tsipa:





David Avery:




Garth Breytenbach:




Hakeem Kae-Kazim:




Carl Beukes:




And that's it, until the sequel comes out.

Yes, there must be a Series Two; this one ended on such a sad note. Well, many sad notes. A symphony of sad notes.

I knew very little about Greek myths, gods, and kings before I started this adventure back in February. Thanks to classicists and critics who love to tweet, after 8 weeks, I am more informed about the 13th century and I have a sense of what canon means.

:)

Thanks to the cast and crew for creating a (harsh, cruel) world for me to escape to every winter weekend for an hour. I? Am grateful that I don't live in a country at war.

Thank you BBC and Netflix; I'm looking forward to next season.

David Farr? Errrrhmmmm... Could you work some happy into the follow-up script?